It's funny. I was going to write this post about procrastination yesterday, but I didn't. Doesn't that in and of itself just scream procrastination? However, not quite. I wanted to write about the one year memorial of the Marathon bombing and it didn't exactly fit the mold for the post. I was browsing through blogs the other night, and I came across one that had a quote about procrastination:
It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
I have a huge problem with procrastination and it isn't really a new one. Once I hit college I was allowed to decide when and how I was going to do my homework on my own time. I would without a doubt wait until last minute. The same goes for graduate school, my blog and even my books. The thing is that I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing my blog and I enjoy writing my books, but I just never can seem "motivated" to do it. Thinking in depth about this makes more sense after reading this quote. It's not that I'm unmotivated or lazy, but I do fear judgment and when I write or when I pass in an assignment, it opens the door for that sort of judgment. Being more aware of this will hopefully allow me to shift the feeling of fear to the feeling empowerment. It does not matter what other people think about my writing because truly at the end of the day their opinion doesn't matter. While it may boost or diminish my confidence, it does not mean that my writing isn't exactly how I want it. So I guess that I'm saying that I need to ship up and buckle down.
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